As the summer after their freshman year ended, the two lovebirds headed back to Jackson, and, as Anna explains, “It kind of went downhill from there.” Unfortunately, Will and Anna came to this particular stage of their relationship with two very different ideas about what was happening and two very different opinions about what needed to happen. Will describes it like this: “In my mind, it was like the pursuit had already been won, but she was really wanting to be pursued more. For me, though, it was like we were just waiting to get married.” Anna was baffled by Will's very unromantic approach to “pursuit,” and she wished that he would be more like a boyfriend and less like a tired husband.
It certainly didn't help that Will's personal life was busy and responsibility-heavy during the first semester of his sophomore year. Unfortunately, a lot of Will's stress ended up on Anna's shoulders as he told her about all the pressure he was experiencing as a Resident Assistant, a full-time student, and the Community Outreach Coordinator at Belhaven College. Anna did not particular enjoy being Will's stress receptacle, and she grew more and more frustrated with the situation as the semester progressed.
Finally, a week before finals, she ended their relationship. “I broke up with him because I thought 'I can't do this and listen to him all the time and do finals,;: says Anna. Will could sympathize with many of her complaints, but he didn't agree with Anna's method. “I thought the solution was not to break up but to work through it," he says. However, despite this setback in his plans for the future, Will also remembers that “At the same time, I was hopeful, because...we finally got it out there in the open. I knew she still liked me. It didn't seem like the end.”
Anna remembers the break-up in some detail: “We were over by those big trees by Preston, and he was so cool about it. He was not defensive or mean or resentful. He was very kind and humble and understanding and awesome about it. I was very relieved, but I was thinking 'what did I just do?'”
Over Christmas break, they emailed each other and kept in touch. Will sent her some socks as a silly gift, and Anna asked for Will's address so she could send him a present. She had painted him a picture of the two of them holding the big red button that they had been passing back and forth during the semester, but then she chickened out and never sent it. “I realized that was a little bit forward, if we weren't dating,” she explains. Will, unaware of this dilemma, only knew that he had not received a present, a fact which didn't do much for his confidence in Anna's love.
The new semester arrived in all its winter glory, and their non-relationship quickly blossomed into a semi-relationship once again. Anna recalls, “One morning I woke up and looked outside and it was snowing, and who did I want to call and tell but Will?” The two of them tromped out to Laurel Park with some friends and played in the snow, then walked to Anna's older sister's house and made pancakes.
After eating pancakes, Will and Anna decided to help clean up the mess. As the two of them washed dishes in the kitchen, Will asked her, “So, do you want to marry me?” Anna was not very pleased by this remark. “I thought he was teasing me, so I got really mad.” After thinking for a moment, she remembers, “He was being very safe, so I had to put myself out on the line.” Anna felt that he had phrased the question in such a way that it could be shrugged off as a joke...or become more serious. But Anna felt that she was the one who had to set the tone of the statement, something she did not want to be forced to do. “But...we started dating that day,” she adds sheepishly.
It was also around this time that Anna told Will that she loved him, prompting him to talk to her parents about when they could get married. They decided that the summer after their junior year would be the earliest feasible time, but these plans soon began to unravel as Will fell back into his old habits. Anna recalls, “As soon as he found out 'she's in love with me' he stopped pursuing and started making plans.” Anna felt that they needed to stop planning a wedding and start getting to know each other.
Will began to realize that he was not giving Anna what she needed. She wanted dates, flowers, and letters, but he was only giving her stress, heavy conversations, and plans for the future. Right before the summer Will admitted to Anna, “I need to stop acting as if we're getting married.”
In addition, Will feared that Anna's love might not run as deeply as his. He was afraid that if he stopped calling her, she would never make the effort to call him. This thought made him rather insecure, naturally. Will's insecurity affected Anna, who recalls, “I felt like I was having to assure him all the time, even when I wasn't sure. He's the one who's supposed to be sure.” This state of affairs was not very healthy for either Will or Anna, and they could both feel the strain that their relationship was under. However, they were both willing to keep trying.
For most of the summer, they were separated geographically, as Will was working at a church in Georgia while Anna was back at Twin Lakes in Mississippi. They talked on the phone sometimes, but it was hard for Anna to get any reception out at the camp. Technological troubles frustrated Will, and a frustrated Will annoyed Anna, so their phone calls became less frequent and less enjoyable as the summer progressed.
And then, suddenly, it seemed that it all might turn around. Will drove all the way to Mississippi to visit Anna one day without even telling her he was coming. When he got close to Jackson, he called her on the phone, then surprised her by walking into the room while still on the phone. He thought up fun things for the two of them to do and made Anna feel very loved and pursued during the next few days. Anna began to hope that her dear Will might have finally understood her needs...
No comments:
Post a Comment