[The following is a sad attempt at finishing this story. Most of the facts are here, but the required emotion and subtlety may be missing. The author apologizes for this sorry state of affairs]
Camp ended, and Anna headed back to be with her family in Georgia for a few weeks, anticipating the time that she would be able to spend with Will before the start of the fall semester. Her high hopes quickly crumbled in the face of reality, however. Although Will had promised all sorts of fun outings and romantic moments for the two of them, she found that he was too busy with his job to spend time with her. It seemed to her that he had more time for the youth that he was supervising than he had for their relationship, and she resented this arrangement.
Camp ended, and Anna headed back to be with her family in Georgia for a few weeks, anticipating the time that she would be able to spend with Will before the start of the fall semester. Her high hopes quickly crumbled in the face of reality, however. Although Will had promised all sorts of fun outings and romantic moments for the two of them, she found that he was too busy with his job to spend time with her. It seemed to her that he had more time for the youth that he was supervising than he had for their relationship, and she resented this arrangement.
One day, Will called her house, hoping to talk to Anna. Her brother Joe answered the phone, then after something of an awkward pause, told Will “Ummm... She can't come to the phone right now.” The tone of Joe's voice told Will that something was wrong, though he wasn't sure exactly what. While Will sat in his room and wondered what had happened, Anna was hunched over in her mom's room, sobbing hysterically. She wept and wailed and confessed to her mother, “I don't want to do this, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. Everybody else thinks this is such a great idea, and I don't know what to do. I'm not feeling loved. He knows that I love him, and I believe that he loves me, but I don't ever feel it. There are other fish in the sea and I can't live like this!”
Anna knew that she had to do something, but she desperately wanted to avoid hurting Will, and she wasn't sure she could pinpoint the exact reasons that she felt she needed to break off their relationship. After all, they had already begun talking about marriage! Eventually, she calmed down enough to invite him to her house for a talk. Will remembers the moment well: “I walked in and she got me a glass of water and we went into the living room... and she just broke down.” Through her tears, Anna made it very clear to Will that their relationship needed to be over.
Anna's timing could not have been better (or worse, depending on your perspective). That night Will was scheduled to be the MC at an Open Mic Night for the youth at his church. He decided to not tell anybody about his woman troubles and pour his heart and soul into his act. This plan worked magically, as Will recalls, “It was the performance of my life. I was all in.”
Will and some friends were planning to do a lip sync/cover of Queen's “Bohemian Rhapsody.” As he recalls, “It wasn't meant to be me as the lead person, but I was feeling it and I was.” Wearing extremely tight black pants paired with a far too small shirt that bared most of his stomach, Will went on to belt out a completely impromptu version of Celine Dion's classic “My Heart Will Go On.” It was truly a night to remember.
Now, you might be thinking that things were starting to look rather bleak for Will and Anna. Perhaps you are thinking that Will should take a hint and hit the road. Well, dear reader, I assure you that giving up is not something that Will McNeese does. Even after she broke off their relationship, Will thought to himself, “I don't understand what is going on but it seems like something Anna needs right now...but I still think it's something we can work through.”
Fortunately, Will decided that despite his hope for their future, he needed to give Anna some space. For probably the first time in their relationship, he left her completely alone. They hardly even talked for the entire month of September. During this time, Will learned some very important things. As he says, “I was forced to be okay on my own, to deal with things on my own and not sap somebody else's life energy.”
It was at a birthday party for Anna that Will realized “If we don't talk anymore, I'm going to move on. I don't want that to happen, but that is what will happen. Our relationship will dissolve, and I will be okay.” Anna agrees with this idea, but adds “We had been so enmeshed, we were learning to differentiate, learning ourselves.”
Will describes this period of their relationship this way: “We were both in the same place. We both knew we were okay on our own and that made it okay for us to be back together.” The two of them went for a walk not long after the party and talked about the things they had been learning in their time apart. Anna recalls, “Will caught a lizard in the middle of the serious conversation, which was huge. He stopped being serious and it was playful and it was fun.” Will agrees that by that time, he had changed a great deal. As he says, “Being lighthearted and fun and secure, I wasn't anxious if it worked or not. I became okay with her going through whatever she needed to go through.”
“Then we got engaged,” says Anna. Truly, it didn't take long for Will and Anna to move from a break-up to a make-up to marriage. They explain it this way: “For us breaking up wasn't a stop to the relationship and then starting over...it was part of the relationship. It was something we had to work through.” After working through that little detail, they once again became inseparable. In early November, Will called her dad to ask for permission to propose. Despite the unpredictable nature of their relationship up to that point, Anna's dad could tell that Will was very serious, so he told him, “Yes, we would love for you to do that.”
After receiving permission from the father, Will was forced to face that monumental obstacle that looms before every man who hopes to be married—how to choose a ring that a woman will love and cherish for the rest of her life. Will knew that Anna didn't want a ring that stuck out too much or had a huge jewel, but other than that he knew very little about ring shopping. The jeweler showed him five rings, and only one of them stood out to Will. He remembers thinking, “I like it, and it seems to fit the criteria, but I don't know if it's pretty or not.” Being the wise man he is, Will asked his mother and Anna's sister to look at the ring and give their opinion of it. The women loved the ring he had picked, so he made the final decision and put down the money to buy it. For two weeks he kept the ring in a drawer in his room, waiting for an opportunity to propose.
Will figured out that Anna wanted a fairly private engagement, but a very thought-out one. For Will, this meant that it needed to be big. With that in mind, he went to town and purchased over 400 yards of blue yarn. On the day of the proposal, Will called Daniel Browne and told him to get a rose and some Dove chocolate from Mcdade's Market. Will and Anna had begun a tradition of eating Dove chocolate and laughing at the sensual sayings on the inside of the wrappers, sayings that they had dubbed “The Gospel According to Dove.” Sadly, Mcdade's didn't (and still doesn't) carry Dove chocolate. Determined to make the moment perfect, Will remembered that Krista Puderbaugh had been eating Dove chocolate in class earlier that day. By the time he called Krista, there was only one piece of chocolate left—a piece that she had been planning to eat moments before he called.
With chocolate and roses taken care of, Will began to string the yarn all over campus, creating a circuitous trail of yarn that led Anna past many memorable spots on Belhaven's campus. At each important place, Will left a skillfully hand-drawn picture that summarized what the two of them had done or experienced in that spot.
When Anna emerged from the dormitory for what she thought was a dinner date, she was confronted by Jonathan Eastman who solemnly directed her gaze to the line of blue yarn. It didn't take long for Anna to realize, “Oh my, he's going to ask me to marry me.” According to Anna, her first thought was, “What if I say no?”
Meanwhile, Will waited nervously behind a tree as Anna slowly made her way to the end of the yarn trail. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally saw her coming. The trail ended at the steps of an apartment across the road from the campus, the spot where Will had first told Anna he loved her. As she approached, he stepped out from behind the tree, waited a few moments to make the occasion more solemn (a few moments that felt like forever to Anna), then asked her to marry him. Thankfully, she didn't say no.
In light of such a momentous occasion, they remember, “We started making out like bandits...we had never kissed before.” Then as they walked back to the dormitory, they found Jonathan Eastman and Derrick French completely tangled in 400 yards of blue yarn. After a good laugh, they went to the Singing Christmas Tree, got some food at Basil's, then came back to Belhaven to tell their engagement story to all their friends. That Sunday, as they entered the dining commons for lunch, Daniel Browne rose to his feet and began clapping—then the entire cafeteria followed his lead and gave the couple a standing ovation.
During their unpredictable journey toward a marriage that they both always knew was inevitable, Will and Anna have experienced many things and learned a great deal. With these memories in mind, Will insists that people should “Know that whatever you do has consequences on the relationship, and so do it intentionally.” There is no action, according to Will, that two people do that does not move their relationship forward or backward. Also, he suggests the following advice: “Give her the time and space that she and you need.”
Anna adds that in a relationship it is always important to “Be honest in what you say and how you act. Don't do anything just because you think it's what he wants. Learn to leave the ball in his court.” And about that legendary first year of marriage, Will and Anna have this to say: “Don't have any other goals, because getting married does not check 'marriage' off your list...marriage doesn't fit into your life plan, it is a plan, it determines your plan.”
But why the strong emphasis on focusing on the marriage? According to Anna, “You're not married until you know each other and trust each other and become a team.” I think it is fair to say that Will and Anna know each other, trust each other, and have become quite a team. All truly good things take time, don't they?
But why the strong emphasis on focusing on the marriage? According to Anna, “You're not married until you know each other and trust each other and become a team.” I think it is fair to say that Will and Anna know each other, trust each other, and have become quite a team. All truly good things take time, don't they?
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