Will and Anna: Love Ain't Always Easy (Part III)

           As the summer after their freshman year ended, the two lovebirds headed back to Jackson, and, as Anna explains, “It kind of went downhill from there.”  Unfortunately, Will and Anna came to this particular stage of their relationship with two very different ideas about what was happening and two very different opinions about what needed to happen. Will describes it like this: “In my mind, it was like the pursuit had already been won, but she was really wanting to be pursued more. For me, though, it was like we were just waiting to get married.” Anna was baffled by Will's very unromantic approach to “pursuit,” and she wished that he would be more like a boyfriend and less like a tired husband.

          It certainly didn't help that Will's personal life was busy and responsibility-heavy during the first semester of his sophomore year. Unfortunately, a lot of Will's stress ended up on Anna's shoulders as he told her about all the pressure he was experiencing as a Resident Assistant, a full-time student, and the Community Outreach Coordinator at Belhaven College. Anna did not particular enjoy being Will's stress receptacle, and  she grew more and more frustrated with the situation as the semester progressed. 

          Finally, a week before finals, she ended their relationship. “I broke up with him because I thought 'I can't do this and listen to him all the time and do finals,;: says Anna. Will could sympathize with many of her complaints, but he didn't agree with Anna's method. “I thought the solution was not to break up but to work through it," he says.  However, despite this setback in his plans for the future, Will also remembers that “At the same time, I was hopeful, because...we finally got it out there in the open. I knew she still liked me. It didn't seem like the end.”

          Anna remembers the break-up in some detail: “We were over by those big trees by Preston, and he was so cool about it. He was not defensive or mean or resentful. He was very kind and humble and understanding and awesome about it. I was very relieved, but I was thinking 'what did I just do?'”

         Over Christmas break, they emailed each other and kept in touch. Will sent her some socks as a silly gift, and Anna asked for Will's address so she could send him a present. She had painted him a picture of the two of them holding the big red button that they had been passing back and forth during the semester, but then she chickened out and never sent it.  “I realized that was a little bit forward, if we weren't dating,” she explains. Will, unaware of this dilemma, only knew that he had not received a present, a fact which didn't do much for his confidence in Anna's love.

           The new semester arrived in all its winter glory, and their non-relationship quickly blossomed into a semi-relationship once again. Anna recalls, “One morning I woke up and looked outside and it was snowing, and who did I want to call and tell but Will?” The two of them tromped out to Laurel Park with some friends and played in the snow, then walked to Anna's older sister's house and made pancakes. 

          After eating pancakes, Will and Anna decided to help clean up the mess. As the two of them washed dishes in the kitchen, Will asked her, “So, do you want to marry me?” Anna was not very pleased by this remark. “I thought he was teasing me, so I got really mad.” After thinking for a moment, she remembers, “He was being very safe, so I had to put myself out on the line.” Anna felt that he had phrased the question in such a way that it could be shrugged off as a joke...or become more serious.  But Anna felt that she was the one who had to set the tone of the statement, something she did not want to be forced to do.  “But...we started dating that day,” she adds sheepishly. 

           It was also around this time that Anna told Will that she loved him, prompting him to talk to her parents about when they could get married.  They decided that the summer after their junior year would be the earliest feasible time, but these plans soon began to unravel as Will fell back into his old habits. Anna recalls, “As soon as he found out 'she's in love with me' he stopped pursuing and started making plans.” Anna felt that they needed to stop planning a wedding and start getting to know each other. 

           Will began to realize that he was not giving Anna what she needed. She wanted dates, flowers, and letters, but he was only giving her stress, heavy conversations, and plans for the future. Right before the summer Will admitted to Anna, “I need to stop acting as if we're getting married.”

           In addition, Will feared that Anna's love might not run as deeply as his. He was afraid that if he stopped calling her, she would never make the effort to call him.  This thought made him rather insecure, naturally.  Will's insecurity affected Anna, who recalls, “I felt like I was having to assure him all the time, even when I wasn't sure. He's the one who's supposed to be sure.” This state of affairs was not very healthy for either Will or Anna, and they could both feel the strain that their relationship was under.  However, they were both willing to keep trying.

          For most of the summer, they were separated geographically, as Will was working at a church in Georgia while Anna was back at Twin Lakes in Mississippi. They talked on the phone sometimes, but it was hard for Anna to get any reception out at the camp. Technological troubles frustrated Will, and a frustrated Will annoyed Anna, so their phone calls became less frequent and less enjoyable as the summer progressed.

           And then, suddenly, it seemed that it all might turn around. Will drove all the way to Mississippi to visit Anna one day without even telling her he was coming. When he got close to Jackson, he called her on the phone, then surprised her by walking into the room while still on the phone. He thought up fun things for the two of them to do and made Anna feel very loved and pursued during the next few days.  Anna began to hope that her dear Will might have finally understood her needs...

Will and Anna: Love Ain't Always Easy (Part II)

          Twin Lakes brought Will and Anna back together. Will had been planning to work at the camp even before he met Anna. His sister had worked at Twin Lakes, the campus was located relatively close to his home, and he had always just assumed he would spend a summer or two there at some point in his life. Anna, on the other hand, had enjoyed her previous experience at Twin Lakes and was prepared to go back, even if it meant being around Mr. Unsubtle for an entire summer. Despite the uneasiness of their relationship, Will remembers, “I missed her the whole time and I couldn't wait to see her.  In response, Anna admits, “I missed him too. I liked him, I just didn't like him.”

          Their first meeting was fairly memorable. It was Will's birthday, and he had told himself that if she remembered to wish him a happy birthday there might still be hope for their relationship. As Anna drove to Twin Lakes from her home in Georgia, she thought about how she would see Will again and wish him a happy birthday to get the summer off to a good start. Tragically, in the transition from her car to her cabin Anna forgot to wish Will a happy birthday, despite her plans to the contrary. Will was disappointed, to say the least.

           Anna tried to make up for it the next day by wishing him a very exuberant late birthday, which made him feel a little bit better...but not much. Later that week, as Will was leaving Twin Lakes for a break, he passed Anna and noticed that she seemed worried. Being the gentleman that he is, Will turned around to see what was wrong, and she asked him if they could talk. Anna apologized for being mean to him during the semester. Anna recalls that after her confession of meanness, “We were driving away and I thought, 'Well I just lost that chance, now he knows I was mean to him.' So I was really really sad about it.” Will, on the other hand, was excited that she could admit that something had been going on between them. Finally there was some concreteness to their semi-relationship, he thought. Problems could always be worked through, he told himself, as long as they were out in the open.  

           That night they both showed up at a friend's house for a barbecue. They had a good time at the party and Will left first, but he waited out by the cars for Anna to come out. She asked him why he was still there, and he quite openly told her “I wanted to say goodbye to you.” Anna remembers, “That was the first time he had done something unsafe to show me that he cared for me. That was huge.” At that moment she realized, “He forgives me and doesn't hate me even though he knows I'm mean.”

           Despite the business of camp life, Will and Anna began to grow closer. During a meal in the dining commons, Anna briefly leaned her head back on his shoulder, which was a huge moment for both of them, even though no one else noticed. During their free time, they had to find other people to hang out with because dating between staff members was not encouraged at Twin Lakes. Eventually, their disguises become more and more transparent. For instance, they saw each other in the staff room one afternoon and said, “Hey, let's go find someone to get coffee with.” Together with their innocent “someone” they went to Will's mom's house and ate ice cream and brownies.

          The summer ended on a fairly positive note, and Will craftily arranged for Anna to give him a ride to Georgia after camp, since he was planning to fly out of the Atlanta airport on his way to St. Petersburg, Russia, where he was going to spend a few weeks with an old friend. However, Will didn't just want a ride. No, Will wanted to actually drive her van, something Anna (and her parents) had not yet let him do. As Will says, “I wanted to drive her van; it was very much a distancing thing. It was a threat to me.” Anna was able to get permission from her parents, so Will excitedly took the wheel and headed east.

           For the first half hour or so, not a word was spoken. Will thought that since he had basically invited himself on the trip, he would let Anna decide whether to talk or not, while Anna was feeling that he needed to start the conversation. Will couldn't take the silence for long, however, so he made a comment about whether they were going to talk at all for the next eight hours. With the ice finally broken, the two began talking...and didn't finish until they pulled into the driveway of Anna's house.

           Fortunately for Will, he needed a place to stay, and Anna's family was quite obliging. “I stayed at her house, loved hanging out with her and her family. I think they were picking up pretty strong signals from me,” remembers Will. “Yeah,” says Anna, “Will is the epitome of subtle.” Her family wisely stayed out of the way, however, and tried not to be too nice to Will, so as to not put pressure on Anna.

           As the two of them drove across town later that week, Will asked Anna why she was being so grouchy. “I'm really going to miss you,” she replied. Naturally, this little comment gave Will a huge burst of happiness. Then later, as Anna took them down a dirt road shortcut that Will had never seen before, he asked her where they were going. With a completely straight face, Anna replied, “I'm going to shoot you,” and for just a moment Will worried that his life might be very short indeed.

           He survived that night, fortunately, and enjoyed the rest of the time he was able to spend at her house. “Every night when we went to bed, she hugged me in a way that she hadn't ever hugged me before,” Will recalls. Sadly, the happy time had to end, as Will's trip to Russia quickly approached.

           While in Russia, Will sent Anna an email every other day. She remembers this quite clearly, as she eagerly checked her email every few hours. During the course of his trip, Will decided that they either needed to start dating or put an end to their semi-relationship. In addition,Will believed that in order to date Anna, he needed to check first with her father. And so, while still in Russia, Will called Anna's dad and arranged to meet when he returned from his trip.

           The journey back to America wasn't very pleasant. Will got dropped off at the St. Petersburg airport at about three in the morning. As he walked through the airport and tried to find his way to the right gate, Will became quite nervous. “Most Russian people can speak English, but they don't like to. I was scared I was going to do something wrong and they were going to get mad at me and shoot me with an AK-47!” Thankfully, he found the correct gate and was able to board the plane.  

           Will didn't sleep much the night before leaving or during the flight (due to a Belgian lady's one year old daughter who was sitting next to him), so he was exhausted when he arrived in Atlanta. Anna had been looking forward to seeing him for days. “I was counting down the minutes,” she recalls. “I was so excited about getting to hug him when he got there.” But when she finally saw him, things didn't turn out quite like she had planned: “He didn't even hug me. He just threw his stuff in and got in the car really fast.”

           After a good night's sleep, Will was back to his old affectionate self, however, and Anna quickly forgave him for his rudeness.  When they arrived at Anna's house, Will and her father were able to have their top secret conversation. Will told him, “I want to pursue your daughter," and her dad didn't object to such a desire.  He did, however, suggest that they should try not to get too serious too quickly, advice that perhaps should have been followed a bit more closely.

        Be that as it may, as Will and Anna drove to a friend's house later, Will tried to explain to Anna what he was thinking. He asked her, “Is it okay that I'm pursuing you?” Anna didn't know exactly what he meant by that, but she liked the sound of it.  “I asked him if he was allowed to hug me, and he did, and then I was happy.”